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Life is good. Our entire lives, we’ve been taught that we needed to be exceptional, that average was something we needed to escape, that if we didn’t do something remarkable with our lives, we failed. But no one ever stopped to define what average actually meant. A stable job, a partner, a house, two kids. Because if that’s average, why were we ever taught to fear it? The truth is, none of those things were ever the problem. Everything you’ve been told about being average has been a lie. Average was never about the life you live. It was always about something much deeper than that. [Music] So, what have you learned from our chops? What do you take away from? Uh, be open to experience. Be willing to try new things. Don’t be afraid to wander. Don’t be afraid to eat a bad meal. You know, if you don’t risk the bad meal, you’ll never get the magical one. Anthony Bourdain knew what an average life really was and why we’re so afraid of it before becoming a famous author and TV show personality. Bourdain spent two decades working in professional kitchens. He graduated in 1978 from the Culinary Institute of America. And in his early career, Bourdain worked as a line cook and sue chef at restaurants across New York. And all the while he carried a different dream to be a writer. He wrote his first book bone and throat which received lackluster reviews and his second book Gone Bamboo also shared the same fate. Both books sold poorly and his writing career became stagnant. You see, Bourdain was 42. He was beginning to accept that the dream he once had wasn’t for him. So, he turned his focus back to cooking. He worked his way up to executive chef at Brazil Leal, a respected French restaurant in Manhattan. From an outside perspective, Bourdain made it. He had a great job, stability, and all the money he needed to live a comfortable life, a life many people would be grateful for. So, why not just stop there? Why not lean into the life he fought so hard to build? And that’s exactly what most people do. As time passes, they get set in their ways. They convince themselves that the life they built is enough. They find a job that pays the bills. It’s not perfect, but it’s fine. A partner they love deeply, someone to come home to. They move into a place that feels just big enough. Buy furniture they’ll keep for years, and fall into routines that make life easier. Nothing is wrong. And that’s the danger. [Music] This is where most people misunderstand what an average life actually is. Because you can wake up every morning, go to work, come home, build a family, live quietly, and still live a deeply fulfilled life. Millions of people dream of exactly that. But it feels like this generation is convinced that stability isn’t enough. Social media brainwashed us into believing that we should chase unrealistic perceptions of money and materialism and that if we didn’t have this checklist of things done before a certain age, you’re falling behind. But an extraordinary life isn’t defined by starting a 100 million business or becoming an athlete or a celebrity. Because average was never about structure. It was never about a 9 to5 or a house or a routine. It was always about your mentality. A stable life isn’t the problem. The problem is never challenging yourself within it. Because somewhere along the way, comfort quietly replaces courage. You stop trying new things, stop doing things you’re bad at. You only ever choose the options you know will work out. And over time, you begin to resent the very life you once prayed for. And slowly, days start to feel the same. They turn into weeks and weeks into years. And one day you wake up and realize something terrifying. You never took a single real risk. Never once stepped outside the routine. Never once asked more of yourself. That’s what being average actually is. [Music] Anthony Bourdain knew this. He knew that coasting through life doesn’t end in failure. It ends in something far more dangerous. A life where you’re satisfied but not fulfilled. And Bourdain knew that if he stayed there long enough, he wouldn’t just lose the dream. He’d lose the courage to ever try again. The only way forward was to take the risk. But before he could do that, he had to confront the one thing that stops people from ever doing so. Your ego. Ego follows you everywhere. It shapes your decisions. quietly disguising itself as excuses like, “I’m being realistic.” And humans are inherently egotistical. We want things to go our way. We want to avoid looking foolish or unprepared. And that’s why most people never try anything new. They don’t pick up the hobby, never speak up at work or talk to the stranger across the street because a rejection or failure feels humiliating. It’s easier to protect the image you have of yourself than to risk watching it break. I didn’t have time. something came up or maybe later. Those excuses feel safer than saying I tried and I wasn’t good enough. So most people choose the first. They protect their identity in the present even when it cost them their future. And the tragedy is that ego doesn’t stop you from failing. It stops you from ever finding out who you could have been. And this is where Bourdain did something most people never do. You see, he had already failed twice. He had every reason to stop trying. He could have came up with a million excuses, but he realized he had grown to become the very type of person he once resented. So, he picked up the pen again. He wrote an essay called Don’t Eat before reading this. Although it was only ever meant to be for the line cooks that he worked with, he did attempt to publish his work. His mom was the one who helped them submit it to The New Yorker, one of the biggest magazine companies at the time, a place you don’t submit to unless you’re certain you belong. Bourdain wasn’t certain, but certainty was the one thing he had already decided to reject. So, he sent it and after just a few days, he got a call. In classic storytelling, there’s a moment in every protagonist journey where they must overcome something called the ego death. Often temporary loss of one’s sense of self or personal identity. This is usually in the form of some sort of humiliation, sacrifice or failure. Regardless, they must overcome this ego death to reach resolution. And we are the protagonists of our own lives. To reach fulfillment, we have to go through this. You have to lose your ego. The version of yourself that needs certainty, that needs to look competent. That’s the price of a meaningful life. A small death of your identity. Bourdain didn’t know if the call would change his life. He only knew that staying safe would quietly erase it. And as soon as Bourdain did this, well, the rest is history. Expanding on his article, he went on to write Kitchen Confidential, an unflinching look at the food service industry that became a number one New York Times bestseller. The book success propelled him onto television, becoming the host of No Reservations and Parts Unknown, on which he traveled the world sampling different foods and engaging with different cultures. Everything he became traced back to one decision, choosing uncertainty over safety. And Bourdain spread his philosophy to millions, hoping to inspire at least one person to do the same, to embrace the unknown, to try and fail, to be wrong. Bourdain never stopped living like this. He was always chasing new experiences, new cultures, finding new ways to escape comfort. One of his quotes that always stuck with me was, “Go somewhere you’ve never been. It doesn’t always have to be about travel, but maybe something as simple as taking a new route to work one day or trying a new coffee shop. Anything that brings you out of your comfort zone because ego is what creates the comfort zone and the comfort zone is where dreams go to die. So instead of risking discomfort now, ego offers you a trade. Stay comfortable today and we’ll deal with the consequences later. And those consequences don’t show up immediately. They show up years later. It arrives as a sentence you hear one day and can’t unhear. If only I tried. It’s regret. Because what if Bourdain had never sent that article? What if he had given up after his first two books flopped? He would end up with the same fate millions of people settle for, an average life. one filled with regret. [Music] And the only way to live a life without regret is to escape the comfort zone. But here’s where most people mess up. They think escaping the comfort zone means blowing up their life. It’s not. It doesn’t mean quitting your job to start a business or leaving everything behind and moving across the world. That’s not what Bourdain did either. When he sent that essay to the New Yorker, he kept his job. Even when they offered him a contract to write his book, his risk was small. Picked up writing again. Even when he was comfortable being a chef, submitting an essay to a place he wasn’t sure he belonged. Those aren’t dramatic leaps. They’re what I call small ego deaths. And this is how you truly create an extraordinary life. Bourdain once said, “I am eager to believe that I’m completely wrong about everything.” And that one sentence perfectly explains his entire life because if you’re wrong, you’re willing to embarrass yourself. You’re willing to try. You’re willing to embrace discomfort. So try something new. Pick up a new skill. Talk to a stranger. Try a new restaurant. Share your work before it’s perfect. Go somewhere unfamiliar without a plan. And this is how you need to live every day in the present because this moment is all we have. As humans, we tend to focus so much on the future. In a way, it’s a paradox because we fear an average life so much, but only in hindsight because we fear discomfort in the present more. So, it was never about a 9 to5 or a routine or even comfort. Those were not the enemies. It was always about letting those things control you.