It’s a natural instinct to try to seem as aligned and compatible with another person on a date. We try to please them by signaling how much we agree with their views and preferences. More often than not, this results in truths being stretched. No one sets out to deceive, but by trying to be as nice as possible and seem as compatible as can be, we create a misleading idea in the other person’s head of who we are.
A simpler and more practical approach is to be frank from the start. This means showing more depth and complexity, without being demanding or brazen. This is especially important on first dates, since the entire point is that there’s no requirement to stick around afterwards. If you are genuinely incompatible, then you’ll be saving everyone a lot of time and energy.
A prerequisite to being honest when dating is to have a certain understanding and acceptance of yourself. Knowing your preferences, imperfections, and views allows you to be open about them. And by being open and honest about yourself, you invite your date to do the same. Nobody is perfect, so if they insist that they don’t have any quirks, they aren’t being truthful (“They are a human being, and to be human is to be complicated.”).